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Ms. Rafsky said that she never experienced shame about her father’s sexuality or his illness. More than 100 people mingled, drank wine and swayed in place to hits of the ’70s and ’80s, featuring songs by Lou Reed, David Bowie, Elton John and the B-52’s. In the 2012 documentary “How to Survive a Plague,” scenes that show Mr. Rafsky attending demonstrations and sit-ins are interspersed with home-movie footage of him dancing and blowing out birthday candles with his daughter. Gainey's wife Cathy. He married Barbara Krolik and they had one daughter, Sara. Mr. Roth, who now lives in Philadelphia, was a 14-year-old Manhattan prep-school student when his father, a doctor, told him he had contracted H.I.V. After her parents divorced, her father, who was gay, remained closeted. She knew he was considered a hero. There are a lot of intriguing films I wasn’t able to preview, … Robert Alan Rafsky (July 22, 1945 – February 21, 1993) was an American writer, publicist, and HIV/AIDS activist. Many of these people, including gay men, were survived by children.”. "[2] David B. Feinberg called Rafsky the "heart and soul of ACT UP. Her father, an out and proud gay poet, raised her alone in San Francisco. His family was politically active. Her father, a Mexican immigrant who was a Baptist preacher in Nebraska, died in 2003. [4], Rafsky worked in public relations in New York. He worked for the Empire State Development Corporation, Howard Rubenstein & Associates, and Pro-Media. Some were born H.I.V.-positive. Bob Rafsky was born on July 22, 1945 in Manhattan, New York City, New York, USA as Robert Alan Rafsky. Many members have been yearning for the sense of understanding that comes only with shared experience. But in 1985, he came out of the closet and divorced his wife. He died on February 21, 1993 in Manhattan. Mr. Staley said he was “completely in awe” of the Recollectors. He was expelled for academic reasons but was later readmitted in 1964 and later became the managing editor of The Harvard Crimson. Outfest 2012—July 12th through 22nd—looks like it’s gonna be a particularly fired-up festival, with docs about activism at its core and plenty of adventurous filmmaking in the lineup. In addition to the usual symptoms of grief, many Recollectors also struggle with what Ms. Abbott described as “the legacy of secrecy and how it twists you.”. I felt so drawn to her and connected.” The two keep in touch. The Act Up member Bob Rafsky is the most, in my opinion, heart-felt characterization in the movie. Public relations executive Bob Rafsky tells us, “I came out at age 40. [6][7] His 1992 confrontation with then-presidential candidate Bill Clinton secured much publicity and made HIV/AIDS a presidential campaign issue. They came to share their stories, some of which had been kept secret for decades. One day, Anne has a … Born in New York City, he graduated from Harvard in 1968. [4] He died of AIDS-related complications on February 21, 1993 at the New York University Medical Center. Their daughter, also a musician, lives in Britain with her family. They rarely spoke about him from then on. A disarming portrait of activist Bob Rafsky, for instance, is undermined by the camera lingering to show his young daughter crying at his funeral. They struggled with feelings of stigma and isolation. We watch him celebrate his Mr. Staley and other Act Up members have become like surrogate fathers to Ms. Rafsky and other Recollectors. Her mother instructed her and her brother to tell people he had died of cancer. Seventeen of those children were in attendance, grown now, and united by a common truth: The parents in the pictures are gone, all of them lost to AIDS. [2], Rafsky became involved with ACT UP in 1987 after his diagnosis with AIDS. The charismatic Bob Rafsky, who came out in his early forties, responsibly left a marriage and a child and became sick with AIDS. When he told her he had contracted H.I.V., the virus that causes AIDS, she finished college early to return home and care for him. He got married and had a daughter, Sara. Many of us are only processing it now. So far, the group has 92 members, from age 20 to 58. Surviving are his daughter, of Brooklyn; his parents, William and Selma, of Philadelphia, and a brother, Lawrence, of Livingston, N.J. Many of the activists featured in the footage were eventually to die of Aids-related illnesses, among them Bob Rafsky, a PR exec with a young daughter he doted on. Rafsky’s father is featured in the ACT UP documentary How to Survive a Plague. Bob Rafsky (1946 - 1993) U.S.A. [2] He enrolled at Harvard College in the fall of 1963. [9], American writer, publicist, and HIV/AIDS activist, "ROBERT RAFSKY, WRITER AND ACTIVIST IN AIDS FIGHT, DIES", "Paid Notice: Memorials RAFSKY, ROBERT ALAN", "Bob Rafsky; Helped Make AIDS Election Issue", https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Robert_Rafsky&oldid=996515158, 20th-century American non-fiction writers, Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License, This page was last edited on 27 December 2020, at 01:52. Sara Rafsky is a researcher at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology's Open Documentary Lab, and is the daughter of the late Bob Rafsky, founding member of Treatment Action Group. … As the ACT UP activist Bob Rafsky put it in the film, “A decent society does not put people out to pasture and let them die because they’ve done a human thing.” Bob did not live to see the tides turn in 1995-96, but his words, his Many more are active on only its private Facebook page. Lawrence C. Rafsky was his brother. "[5] Rafsky was a nationally recognized HIV/AIDS activist. The crowd listened intently. When Mr. Rafsky died the next year, his daughter was 7. He’s most heartened by the response from Sara Rafsky, daughter of the late AIDS activist Bob Rafsky. positive when he was murdered in 1997. [2], He was married to Babette Krolik and had a daughter named Sara. To her surprise, he told her that his girlfriend, Ms. Abbott (the two are now married), had lost her father in the same way. Rafsky lived in Wigglesworth and volunteered at the Loeb Drama Center. Her father, Bob Rafsky, was a key member of the AIDS advocacy group Act Up. Robert Rafsky, 47, a writer and publicist whose televised confrontation with presidential candidate Bill Clinton galvanized the anti-AIDS movement, … Through Kickstarter, they raised nearly $14,000 from 235 backers. They have plans for more meet-ups, and hope to add an educational component to their mission, teaching young people about the history of AIDS in America. Since her father received his diagnosis, Ms. Maldonado had searched in vain for others like herself. [8], Rafsky was an active member of the Treatment Action Group. He is a man who Twenty years had passed since their fathers died. We see … On a Thursday night in January, the atmosphere at the Housing Works Bookstore Cafe in SoHo was heavy with nostalgia. “I immediately went up to her and introduced myself,” Ms. Maldonado said later. President Clinton sent her a condolence letter. [4], Rafsky worked as a teacher after graduation, but ultimately pursued more lucrative careers. We’re doing that together.”. One day, Anne has a stroke, and the couple's bond of love is severely tested. Sara Rafsky with her dad, Bob, 1987. He in fact was a member of a different Act Up cell working on finding a cure for AIDS/HIV . “We wanted to find them.”, In October, they introduced the Recollectors, an online community of adult children of parents lost to AIDS. Director: Darrell Roodt | Stars: , , , Votes: Still, she said, “For 20 years, I battled my grief in the shadows.”. At the film’s premiere, Ms. Rafsky met some of her father’s fellow Act Up activists. Sulawesiella rafaelae, Hypotacha raffaldii, Rafaelia, Nicolas Raffort, Rafsky, Robert Rafsky, Rafsbotn, Gerald Rafshoon, Rafstraumur, Chah-e Rafsanjaniha Death and … Still from How to Survive a Plague (2012), directed by David France; Bob Rafsky and his daughter walk by the Martin Beck Theatre. Bob Gainey, with his wife Cathy, were parents to one son and three daughters: Steve (whom he drafted in the 1997 NHL Entry Draft), Colleen, Anna (the president of the Liberal Party of Canada), and Laura. "The importance of fighting the HIV epidemic has been a matter of bipartisan agreement over the course of several administrations. [2][4] Rafsky graduated Harvard in 1968. After falling ill, Yesterday learns that she is HIV positive. through an accident at work. They live in 20 states, as well as Switzerland and Canada. Bill Clinton’s 1992 presidential run, Mr. Rafsky famously interrupted him at a campaign event to ask what he would do about AIDS, prompting an impassioned and angry response from the governor. It didn't take long for Rafsky … He later became the chief spokesperson of ACT UP, assisting the organization to gain prominent national coverage. Activist Robert Rafsky was a gay activist and Act Up NY member. Correspondent and organizer Victor Zonana remarked that Rafsky "was articulate, contentious, persuasive, dogged and very often right. “But that was never true: men and women of all sexual identities, income levels, and cultural backgrounds contracted HIV, and in a variety of ways. The Recollectors are partnering with StoryCorps, a nonprofit oral-history group, to bring some of their stories to National Public Radio. Ms. Joiner was 14. During Gov. Viviana Maldonado flew in from Los Angeles, where she works in risk management. I was thinking to myself, I’m in New York City with the people I’ve been looking for for 20 years.”. “I felt like we were all siblings in a way.”. There is one moment in particular, when ACT UP activist Bob Rafsky is dancing with his daughter and you hear him saying in voice-over: The question is: what does a decent society do with people who hurt themselves because they are human — who smoke too much, who eat too much, who drive carelessly, who don’t have safe sex? His portrayal by the directors showed both his lovingly bittersweet moments with his daughter and his ex-wife. “It was not a sad or maudlin night, but a comforting one,” Ms. Joiner said. The daughter of Broadway legends Bob Fosse and Gwen Verdon opens up about reliving her “odd” childhood through the FX limited series Fosse/Verdon, starring Michelle Williams and … “One of the things that brings the Recollectors together is how we suffered from the closet more than we suffered from the disease,” said Marco Roth, a founder of n+1, a print and digital magazine of literature, culture and politics, and the author of the memoir “The Scientists: A Family Romance.”. He enrolled at Harvard College in the fall of 1963. One of them, Peter Staley, recalled: “I had all this history with Bob Rafsky. “I remember feeling stunned that there was someone else out there,” Ms. Joiner said. Rafsky lived in Wigglesworth and volunteered at the Loeb Drama Center. “This was not something I [2][4] Around 1987, he contracted AIDS. Old family photographs were projected onto a big screen: images of parents hugging their children close, or teaching them to ride a bike. Lawrence C. Rafsky was his brother. [3], Rafsky's role with ACT UP was a focal part of the 2012 documentary How to Survive a Plague. The Versace family has long denied that Gianni, the original visionary behind the Italian fashion house, was H.I.V. There were nods and sighs of recognition. They aim to build a printed and oral history of their experiences. The connection between the men who survived and the children of those who did not has had a profound effect on both sides. I could tell her about that part of his life.”. In 1985 Bob … Early life and education Robert Alan Rafsky was born July 22, 1945 to civil servant William L. Rafsky of Łódź, Poland and Selma Rafsky née Chafets in Philadelphia. She looked so much like him. President Clinton sent her a condolence letter. “There was a real fear of how straight families were handling this,” he said. When Mr. Rafsky died the next year, his daughter was 7. Bob Marley And The Wailers performing 'Get Up, Stand Up' live at The Open Air Festival in Munich, Germany on the 1st of June during the 1980 Uprising Tour. Both lost their fathers to AIDS in 1992. The evening concluded with a panel that included Joiner; Abbott; Housing Works Policy Director Reed Vreeland; Sara Rafsky, daughter of Bob Rafsky, … Among the most affecting scenes in an already affecting movie are those between him and his young daughter, Sara. Mr. Roth and his mother were forbidden from telling anyone. She knew him as a father, but not an activist. Peter Staley said that Rafsky was "enormously influential" in one-to-one interactions. The film’s 2012 debut at Sundance, she says, marked “a transformation” in her life. While supportive, Rafsky was not a member of TAG . The group views storytelling as a form of activism — correcting a false narrative and reclaiming their shared past. Though they still have a hard time talking about the past, his mother went to Housing Works to lend her support. As the ACT UP activist Bob Rafsky put it in the film, “A decent society does not put people out to pasture and let them die because they’ve done a human thing.” Bob did not live to see the tides turn in 1995-96, but his words, his The women met for lunch soon after. As their numbers grow, Ms. Joiner said, “It’s still so surprising and emotional whenever we get an email saying, ‘I’m one of you.’ ”, Adult Children of AIDS Victims Take Their Memories Out of the Shadows. Many people, perhaps the activists themselves, aren't aware of how AIDS activism of the 1980's and 90's connected along the dots. “After a lifetime of feeling like I wasn’t supposed to remember him,” she said, “my father has been brought back.”. At the Housing Works Bookstore Cafe in SoHo, the Recollectors online group used pictures, music and stories earlier this year to remember and honor parents of theirs who had died of AIDS. A decade later, after each woman had moved to New York, Ms. Joiner confided in a co-worker about her father’s death. In one case, France enlisted the grown daughter of Bob Rafsky, a late activist who features prominently in the film, to persuade a cinematographer to share his 90-hour archive. I was just taking it all in. With her husband in denial and young daughter to tend to, Yesterday's one goal is to live long enough to see her child go to school. Whitney Joiner, a features editor at Marie Claire magazine, and Alysia Abbott, a journalist, brought the unlikely group together. The playlist was a tribute to them, a mix of their favorite songs, as selected by the sons and daughters who traveled from as far away as Toronto, St. Louis and Los Angeles to be there. In 2012, Ms. Abbott was working on a book called “Fairyland: A Memoir of My Father.” After learning that AIDS was the leading cause of death in men ages 18 to 45 in 1992, she and Ms. Joiner discussed how what had once seemed like an experience only the two of them shared was most likely part of something much bigger. Members of the Recollectors, from left, Alysia Abbott, Reed Vreeland, Whitney Joiner, Mathew Rodriguez and Sara Rafsky, speaking at the Housing Works Bookstore Cafe. He also helped draft an AIDS agenda for the Clinton Administration. Sometime, probably in 1987, he contracted AIDS. Bob Rafsky, Self: 60 Minutes. It was at this time that Rafsky began telling his friends he was gay. At the Housing Works event, Mr. Roth read from an essay he wrote for the Recollectors site. Some share stories and photos at therecollectors.com and on the group’s public Facebook page. She recognized Crystal Gamet, who runs a housekeeping cooperative in Maine, from Facebook. My friend Mark Harrington flirting with the … “I told her she could sit by me, and we ordered drinks together. “When AIDS first emerged in the U.S. decades ago, there was a collective cultural assumption that the disease primarily afflicted gay men who had no children,” the group’s website says. The audience is at times subjected to a needless Aids death ‘ticker’ during the intertitles that’s intended to illustrate the passage of time. Sometimes, we zoom in on the personal life of one of the activists and learn more about their story: we at the PPCC were particularly struck by the story of the soulful Bob Rafsky, who had a wife and daughter, came out at 40, and It was very bad timing to come out in the middle of an epidemic.” Rafsky is the character who conveys the film’s greatest pathos. He came out in 1985 and later divorced his wife, sharing joint custody of their daughter. Bob Rafsky quit his job as a PR executive at Howard Rubenstein (he’d represented Donald Trump before going on disability for AIDS) in order to become an activist. She was 21. When she met the Recollectors, she said: “I was very quiet at first. Bob Rafsky dancing with his daughter Sara—now a grown woman who I'm delighted to say has become a friend through this film. Rafsky was also a dad. He credits them with helping to keep the story of AIDS present and relevant in a culture that has largely grown apathetic to the issue. “We knew there must be a lot of people like us who were facing this anniversary,” Ms. Abbott said. Just a few weeks ago, I was with a friend on the way to a show when I looked up and realized I was walking past the Al Hirschfeld Theatre. Ms. Rafsky said that she never experienced shame … The night after the Housing Works event, group members gathered for a private dinner at Ms. Joiner’s apartment. Robert Alan Rafsky was born July 22, 1945 to civil servant William L. Rafsky of Łódź, Poland[1] and Selma Rafsky née Chafets in Philadelphia. She grew up in a conservative Kentucky town. His marriage ended in divorce in 1985. They were at Housing Works, beaming like proud parents. She and others have noticed that their new openness has caused a chain reaction in their families. And this is How to Survive a Plague's greatest strength: collating, connecting and communicating ACT UP and TAG's timeline into a cohesive, compelling narrative... showing how their actions helped guide events that made HIV and AIDS more or less not a … Ms. Abbott was 21. Until recently, most never knew the others existed. “The kids got lost in that.”, But, he added: “We all went through the plague years. All of a sudden, here was his beautiful adult daughter. In a New York Times op-ed he wrote, “There’s not much to do He was writing a book comprising letters to his daughter at the time of his death. For Sara Rafsky, the problem wasn’t that she had no one to talk with, but that she was simply too distraught to talk. [2][3] His family was politically active. Ms. Joiner persuaded her mother and brother to watch “How to Survive a Plague.” Over Christmas, they opened a storage unit of her father’s belongings that had been locked for 22 years. During the worst years of the AIDS epidemic, Mr. Staley said, families often swooped in after a death, seizing assets, planning memorials that didn’t mention AIDS and pushing friends and lovers away. Ms. Rafsky calls them her uncles. [2] Rafsky wrote personal essays about AIDS for The New York Times, The Village Voice, New York Daily News, OutWeek, and QW. Mr. Roth’s young daughter was there, too, quietly reading the second book in the “Divergent” series in the children’s section. The Harvard-educated Rafsky left the Bulletin in the early 1970’s for a successful public relations career in NYC.

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